The Bell Rings: a daily zen meditation
by notesofwimsey
Summary: Zen has become their cipher: a way of explaining the feelings they cannot describe.
1. Day 1

_Disclaimer: All characters are the intellectual property of the creators of Life and NBC.  
_

_Author's Note: I have a passion for 100 word drabbles, which are harder than they seem, so here is a new series, inspired by a daily meditation from the dailyzen website._

* * *

**July 8, 2008**

_She is clarity. _

_Hearing the truth,  _

_she is like a lake, _

_pure and tranquil and deep. _

_Want nothing. _

_Where there is desire, _

_say nothing._

_Happiness or sorrow, _

_whatever befalls you, _

_walk on untouched. _  

- Buddha in the Dhammapada

* * *

He knew she did not like him. Dani Reese didn't like many people. He could leave that behind.

She seemed to move untouched through the world. But he had seen the demons in her eyes, tearing at her core. He had heard the demons in her voice, infecting her with fear.

She reflected the world back to him, and him to the world, standing between two opposing forces.

When he burned in the cold of the desert night, when he grew chilled under the searing California sun, she stood: his still point in the universe.

She gave him truth.


	2. Day 2

_Disclaimer: All characters are the intellectual property of the creators of Life and NBC.  
_

_Author's Note: Inspired by a daily meditation from the dailyzen website._

* * *

****

July 9, 2008

__

No one knows this mountain I inhabit:

Deep in white clouds, forever empty, silent.

- Han Shan ( 7th-9th cent)

_

* * *

_

He stood balanced, hands on hips. Eyes flickered from one piece of paper to another, tracing invisible connections in faces, in official phrases from documents, in transcripts from radio calls.

He had sat in front of the computer, painstakingly tapping out details, creating a timeline, a cohesive explanation of what had happened, what could have happened, what did not happen. It had fallen apart: a series of unconnected ramblings.

Now he stood in front of the wall: still, silent. He was not conscious of thought – he simply stood, contemplating the wall of questions, and waited for the answers to come.


	3. Day 3

_Disclaimer: All characters are the intellectual property of the creators of Life and NBC.  
_

_Author's Note: 100 word drabbles inspired by a daily meditation from the dailyzen website._

* * *

**July 10, 2008**

At the hall of the Buddha image,   
I look over the crimson ravine;   
The incense terrace is shrouded in halcyon auroras.   
Now roosting, now flying,  
I embrace an imaginary bird;   
Now treading, now tramping,    
It rains flowers from the void.   
The precious bells sway in the emergent sunshine;   
The golden pool glistens on dusk's sands.   
Do not be distraught    
At the remoteness of the road back;   
Beyond the gates there are three types of carriages.     
_- Sung Chih-Wen (d 712)_

* * *

He had woken in the depths of the night, and had slid out of the bed, careful not to disturb the nameless woman curled around the down pillows, wrapped in the silky cotton sheets and nothing else. He had padded down the wooden stairs on silent feet, bare toes stretching to anchor him, to balance him against the pull of the earth.

Now he stood, face raised to the first pale light of dawn as it reached out tenderly, and lifted his hands to touch it back, breathing in the silence, filling himself with peace.

Until the car broke through.


	4. Day 4

_Disclaimer: All characters are the intellectual property of the creators of Life and NBC.  
_

_Author's Note: 100 word drabbles inspired by a daily meditation from the dailyzen website._

* * *

****

**July 13, 2008**

Moonlight and the sound of pines

Are things we all know

Zen mind and delusion

Distinguish sage and fool

Go back to the place

Where not one thought appears

How shall I put this

Into words for you?

- _Han-shan Te-ch'ing (1546-1623)_

She only caught one word out of every twenty. He was talking about fruit. At least she thought he was talking about fruit. She had heard the word "orange". And the words "solar power".

She did her best to blank out the never-ending stream of words as she stared at the dark house they were watching. The wind whipped through leaves shimmering in the moon's light.

When he stiffened like a pointer on the scent, she paid attention to every word ripped from him.

And when it proved to be a false alarm, she stared, silent, into the street again.


	5. Day 5

_Disclaimer: All characters are the intellectual property of the creators of Life and NBC.  
_

_Author's Note: 100 word drabbles inspired by a daily meditation from the dailyzen website._

* * *

**July 14, 2008**

In samsara, which is like a dream and illusion,    
Sentient beings roam like blind lunatics.    
Not realizing the truth that confused   
Appearances have no essence,    
Those who cling to the false as true get so exhausted.    
To the serum of youth, which is like a flower,    
The young are attached like witless bees.    
Not recognizing this is impermanent and fading,    
Those who wander in endless lower   
Realms get so exhausted.    
After word knowledge, which is like a mirage,    
Teachers wander like smart wild beasts.    
Not recognizing that there's no connection    
Between term and meaning,    
Those who wander in endless jargon get so exhausted.    
To the pleasure of experience, which is like a rainbow,    
Meditators are attached like faithful children.    
Not recognizing that it's an enticing dead end,    
Those who hope for a result of spiritual warmth    
And signs get so exhausted.     
_- Godrakpa (1170-1249)_

* * *

She rolled quietly out of the bed, digging for her clothes. She ran water into her hands, over her red-rimmed eyes. Sex and alcohol didn't count – no one would test her piss for alcohol.

As she let herself out into the bright dawn light, she darkened her vision, blinking behind protective lenses.

She answered a call on the radio, hardening the steel in her voice so no one would know the demons she had lost to.

She drove to his house, and felt tears overwhelm her eyes, and wondered if someone who had known hell could seek the light.


End file.
